“When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched,
you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn't have any
resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to
discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much
space.”
― Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living
― Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living
“I’d like to encourage us all to lighten up, to practice with a lot of
gentleness.”
―
―
I was sixty years old, I had practiced daily meditation for large swathes of time over the course of 35 years. I had also taken formal training vows, lived in several spiritual communities, and attended a number of intensive retreats with well known teachers.
And yet...
Although I had had a number of peak
experiences over the years -- on and off the zafu -- little did I know
that my mind was about to be blown once again.
I had never heard of Pema Chodron when a friend handed me a paperback copy of Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living that day. This septuagenarian American female monk of the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition had me hooked with the very first sentence of the Preface:
I had never heard of Pema Chodron when a friend handed me a paperback copy of Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living that day. This septuagenarian American female monk of the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition had me hooked with the very first sentence of the Preface:
"THIS BOOK IS ABOUT AWAKENING THE HEART."
The Heart!!??
As
a inveterate bookworm, my introduction to Zen had been through Alan Watts, D.T
Suzuki, and Shunryu Suzuki, back in the early 1970's. It was
pretty heady stuff. Like many, I'd come to see the spiritual path as a
matter of mind over matter. It was all about Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, right?
OMG! Awakening the Heart!?
Duh.
Something deep within me stirred.
Although I had read her teacher Chogyam Trungpa's classic works as a young man, and had spent a bit of time with Tibetan Buddhist communities in Madison WI and Woodstock NY over the years, my primary focus had never turned to Tibetan teachings and practices. To be honest, after being drawn to the simple aesthetic of Zen, I was pretty turned off by the somewhat cluttered and gaudy opulence of Tibetan Buddhist Temples -- and by the notion of "guru-worship." The relative simplicity of the American incarnations of both Zen and Theravada seemed much more in tune with my own, working-class, moderately Marxist, sensibilities.
Yet, as I poured through Start Where You Are that day, I was transfixed. Pema Chodron offered a fresh, accessible, down to earth presentation of the traditional Lojong Teachings of Tibetan Buddhism. Chapter by chapter, her teachings helped me to establish a new and deeper relationships to the Dharma, to Practice -- and to my life.
Although I had read her teacher Chogyam Trungpa's classic works as a young man, and had spent a bit of time with Tibetan Buddhist communities in Madison WI and Woodstock NY over the years, my primary focus had never turned to Tibetan teachings and practices. To be honest, after being drawn to the simple aesthetic of Zen, I was pretty turned off by the somewhat cluttered and gaudy opulence of Tibetan Buddhist Temples -- and by the notion of "guru-worship." The relative simplicity of the American incarnations of both Zen and Theravada seemed much more in tune with my own, working-class, moderately Marxist, sensibilities.
Yet, as I poured through Start Where You Are that day, I was transfixed. Pema Chodron offered a fresh, accessible, down to earth presentation of the traditional Lojong Teachings of Tibetan Buddhism. Chapter by chapter, her teachings helped me to establish a new and deeper relationships to the Dharma, to Practice -- and to my life.
Although many of the concepts were familiar, something deep inside me shifted.
Starting Where I Was
I had always considered myself a pretty compassionate dude. I was dedicated to service. I had taught school, worked with troubled youth, been a peace and social justice activist, a union activist, a mediator. The four Bodhisattva Vows had been the foundation of my personal practice for decades. I thought I was one of the "good guys."
Starting Where I Was
I had always considered myself a pretty compassionate dude. I was dedicated to service. I had taught school, worked with troubled youth, been a peace and social justice activist, a union activist, a mediator. The four Bodhisattva Vows had been the foundation of my personal practice for decades. I thought I was one of the "good guys."
Yet,
I had also struggled through a series of severe burnouts all through my life.
Although the reality of our Essential Oneness was part of my own
experience, it wasn't enough. I really didn't have a clue about navigating
my way through life in a grounded, balanced, and sustainable way.
Sure. I
could "be there" for others to a certain extent. But, I was blind to
the various deep-set patterns that prevented me from truly being there for
myself. Again and again, this unexplored conditioning dictated the trajectory of my life and sent me into
descending spirals of anxiety and depression. This prevented me from
being there for anybody in a consistent and sustainable way.
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